Please tell me I’m not the only one to have run out of steam.

The first few weeks of summer were full of promise. We swam, we went out for ice cream at bedtime, we did crafts when the heat was too strong outside and we had the best of intentions of making the most of the holidays. So far, we’ve been doing pretty well.

Then the second heat wave struck and everything fell to pieces.

There isn’t anything I can really complain about, apart from a persistent cough that’s forcing me to sleep on the sofa so I don’t wake up the rest of the family at night. It’s this heat. Every year it’s the same: I have grand visions of summer being different this time around, I tell myself we’ll go out more, the children will be in good health (everything is relative) and we’ll have the best of times for three whole months. Well, guess what? We have another two months to go till school starts again and, while I’m not ready for the cold to come back yet, I really have had enough of the muggy heat which saps every ounce of energy out of me.

Apart from having showers at regular intervals (I might be contributing to global warming right now), eating ice lollies and sprawling myself on the cool floor tiles, there’s little else I feel like doing. I’ve spent these past few days dodging M’s requests to play with her and I’m ashamed to admit it but I won’t pretend all is rosy and fun when it isn’t. I feel really bad about the way I’ve been with her lately, but her constant demands are draining on a good day, let alone on days when I have to force myself to make breakfast. Luckily for me, all it takes to make her forget the less than ideal days is visiting our favourite smoothie place or playing snap with her on the floor while R is sleeping. 

Today I came across a quote by Dr Seuss (we’re big on the Dr right now) saying: “Today I shall behave, as if this is the day I will be remembered.” Like all quotes by this author, it made me think. How will my children remember me? Will the memories of me they’ll carry with them be of a grumpy mother who complained about the heat all day and was always too busy to play with them? I came very close to answering that question in the affirmative, which shook me up a little. I’m sure there’ll always be complaining for me to do and there’ll always be laundry and dirty dishes piling up, but I’m going to start afresh for the sake of my two little loves. 

I’m going to take each day at a time.