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Why Malta is a better country than Iceland

News that an anti-EU Icelandic MP claimed that Malta isn’t an independent nation brought out our inner Maltese patriots, who shall now explain why Malta is better than Iceland

The Icelandic choose to keep natural wonders such as the Aurora Borealis to themselves, the bastards.

The Icelandic choose to keep natural wonders such as the Aurora Borealis to themselves Photo: visiticeland.com

 

Progressive eurosceptic Icelandic MP Vigdís Hauksdóttir claimed on Sunday that Malta isn’t an independent country, but rather a semi-autonomous region of another country, timesofmalta.com reports. Not only is she wrong; her country is inferior to this Mediterranean gem of an island, for the following reasons:

The weather 
Pit the country with the subtropical climate and 3,000 hours of sunshine a year against the country with 1,300 yearly sunshine hours and “ice” in its name, and you have an easy winner. And while Malta’s sunshine knows when it’s time to leave, in summer, Icelanders have to shut their windows to keep the sun out at night. Provided it made an appearance, which is unlikely.

Volcanoes 
Iceland’s volcanoes cause aerospace panic all over Europe when they erupt in a blaze of glory, lava and ash. Lots of ash. Maltese volcanoes mind their own business, mostly by not existing at all.

Place names 

When Eyjafjallajökull (pronounced eiyafyatlayokutl) erupted in 2010, it wasn’t just the ash that spread all across the world, it was the 1,000 or so syllables that you had to pronounce to say its name. This was so confusing that some major news agencies (who had clearly not discovered the copy and paste function on their computer) resorted to referring to it as “Eyjafjoell”, which only refers to the southern part of the volcanic massif. That wouldn’t happen with benign Maltese place names such as Mosta, Dingli, Iklin or Valletta, would it?

You are more likely to date your cousin if you’re Icelandic

While the geographical size of Iceland is on a par with Britain, the population itself is only just over 320,000, and a huge chunk of that population lives in and around the capital, Reykjavik. If you think Malta’s too small and everyone knows far too much about each other, try living in a country where everyone is so related that there is a market for a family-tree app which tells you if the hot girl you’re dating is actually your second-cousin from your mother’s side.

It’s awfully expensive

While Malta’s consumer price index stands at 81.28, Iceland’s stands at 114.48. If that doesn’t mean anything to you, which is fair enough, compare the 241.15 kr (that’s €1.55 in real money) to the €0.83 you’d pay in Malta for a loaf of bread. It isn’t just bread that’s more expensive – practically everything is dearer in Iceland, whose prices make it the eighth dearest country in Europe, compared to Malta’s lowly ranking at 22. (Eurostat)

Pastizzi

They don’t have them, we do. Although there is that one stand in Reykjavik that makes the best hot-dogs in the world.

The Icelandic are exceedingly selfish

They keep acres upon acres of unspoilt terrain, geysers, hot water baths and the wonderful northern lights to themselves, meaning you’d actually have to travel there to enjoy these wonders. The selfish, northern bastards.  

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Posted by on February 24, 2014. Filed under Just For Fun, Lifestyle, Travel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

15 Responses to Why Malta is a better country than Iceland

  1. I think mrs. Haugsdottir is inbreed.

  2. Thorleifur Magnus Magnusson

    Hey Malta, we undoubtedly beat you in one thing… we have more idiots in parliament than you do..nanananana.

  3. I give up on my stupid homeland. What do I do to become a Maltan sitizen

  4. Börkur Hersteinsson

    Touché :)

    But please don´t think that all Icelanders are as ignorant as Vigdís Hauksdóttir.
    We too are all to often scratching our heads and wondering what she is saying and how ill-informed she is abou Malta, Iceland and whole of Euroope.

    Nice article by the way, you should come to see the northern lights….you won´t be disappointed. I´ll even by you a hot-dog for your troubles.

  5. If this list is the excuse for Malta being a better country then I’m picking Iceland any day of the year

  6. Good article, please don´t judge us from this one MP. Most of Iceland is ashamed of her and noone i know owns up to electing her. I really hope that you have none of her caliber in your parliament.

  7. Stefán Freyr Gunnlaugsson

    As an Icelander myself, I have to admit that I agree with some of the things written here above.
    You should also be proud that you don’t have any political figures like Vigdís Hauksdóttir that are dumb enough to say Malta isn’t an independant country, on national television.
    I’d like to state the fact that we’re not all as dumb and single-minded as Mrs. Hauksdóttir and most of us were as shocked as you were about that stupid statement of hers.
    Best regards :)

  8. Its a bit misleading calling Hauksdottir a “progressive” the Progressive party is actually center-right and Hauksdottir is a right-wing foreign hating populist.

  9. A sceptic observer

    Since Malta is both a member of the EU and have the Euro as its currency you could argue that somehow, at least economically, Malta is not independent. That is why Iceland is a better country than Malta …

  10. Love it malta! can we set up somekind of swap deal you take our mindless politicans and we take your pastizzi

  11. what is pastizzi and how are we selfish, the person who wrote this clearly never left Reykjavík

  12. Having been lucky enough to visit both Malta and Iceland, I love them both!

    Unfortunately, in reply to Börkur Hersteinsson, we visited in early Jan 2013 but very sadly we failed to have clear skies to view the Aurora Borealis. We did enjoy pilsnas (?) (hotdogs) in both Akureyri and Reykjavik.

  13. Well, I am going to Malta on Sunday so I can have the first hand experience in the comparisons… OOOOOPPPS… don´t have to. I love Iceland, but for a long time dreamed about visiting Malta with its cultural and historical heritage. How can someone even begin to compare those completely different and unique countries. I am appalled by this MP´s statement. Trust me, most of the Icelanders are more open minded and respectful than she is.

    First thing I buy on Malta will be Pastizz.

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